August 28, 2009
August 24, 2009
I miss buying grocery stuff with my family.I miss lifting grocery bags from the car’s trunk to the kitchen. I miss buying Country Style donuts before my TREDTRI class. I miss buying french toast in the morning and eating it during class. I miss staying at the LS benches before class starts. I miss staying at the Conservatory when I get to school in the morning. I miss seeing my friends at the Amphi theater when classes are all over. I miss my long walks with Ken and Tabs. I miss taking pictures with friends. I miss joking around with friends practically anytime and anywhere we feel like joking around. I miss drinking alcoholic drinks with friends in Trinoma. I miss using my laptop in the Conservatory. I miss the free WiFi in school. I miss Mildred’s Chicken Barbeque. I miss Flaming Wings’ Chicken Tenders. I miss Reyes’ Barbeque’s Chicken and Pork Barbeque. I miss Greenplace, EGI, Lair and Agno. I miss my Mercury Drug in EGI. Still can’t recall the real name of the store. Haha. I miss riding the cab with my friends on the way to Glorietta/Greenbelt/Shang. I miss the days when Vickie, Patrick and I would ride the cab in the afternoon from school to Fort just to hang out. I miss going home from Fort, Rockwell, Shang, Glorietta and Greenbelt in a cab. I miss riding the jeepney with Ken from Glorietta or Greenbelt. I miss eating at Greenbelt 1’s McDonald’s. I miss riding the jeepney from school. I miss riding Kenneth’s car. I miss having what-to-wear-today problems. I miss panicking in the morning because the shirt/pants that I want to wear is not ironed yet. I miss looking for my underwears in the morning. LOL. I miss being with family on Sunday masses. I miss going to the mall on Sundays after the mass. I miss lurking around the mall looking for new clothes to buy. I miss my People are People-Zara-Springfield routine whenever I’m in Glorietta. I miss my Topman-Zara-People are People-Springfield routine whenever I’m in Rockwell Powerplant. I miss saving my allowances just to be able to buy another cool shirt/pants/shoes/haircut. I miss having my haircut. I miss staying at Starbucks in Rockwell, 1st floor with friends. I miss studying in Coffee Bean, Robinson’s Place. I miss my Dairy Queen escapades with friends. I miss watching movies with friends. I miss going home late at night because I practically have to go home from Trinoma or somewhere else that’s too far from home. I miss riding the bus from Trinoma to Guadalupe. I miss riding the LRT from Taft to EDSA. I miss riding the MRT from EDSA to Ayala/Guadalupe/Shang /Trinoma. I miss sleeping in hotels with friends for free. Always thanks to Kevin’s dad. I miss Ira’s Fontana Birthday. Everyone I miss now was there. I miss doing study groups at Kenneth’s house. I miss being tutored by JP. I miss doing thesis. I miss it, not love it. I miss sleeping late because of paper works. I miss doing MICREC problem sets. I miss playing badminton professionaly. I miss doing stage plays. I miss all my friends, seriously. Haven’t seen most of them for quite some time already. Generally speaking, I miss my old life.
P.S. My CT Scan results were negative. I don’t have lung cancer. Yey! 😀 At least good things are still happening to me after all this crap. Hehe.
July 27, 2009
I may have lung cancer. Just learned this a while ago when I visited my Oncologist this afternoon. Honestly, I kind of expected this na ever since the day my pathologist revealed to my family that my tumor necrosis is only 20% (given the average of 80% -90%). According to my doctors, I am a record holder in their book because I am their only patient EVER who has responsed this badly to their treatments. So yeah, my doctor told me that I will not be undergoing the originally planned 4 chemotherapies anymore. Instead, I would have to take 6 more as a way to cure the problem.
Naturally, I didn’t take the news lightly. I honestly felt devastated. I was in shocked from the time it was revealed to me upto the time I got home. I even shed a few tears while I was still in the clinic. I guess it was just my initial reaction to my new situation. Things did even get worse when I was already in the car. I just cried heavily. No one could stop me from crying. No words of encouragement lightened up my feelings at that time. I just couldn’t help it. Thinking that I may not have a life ahead of me destroys me big time. I have always thought and believed that I will surpass this circumstance. But now, I don’t know. I still need to have a CT-SCAN to verify the spread of my cancer cells though, so it’s not really 100% sure yet. But if the spread has really occured, then probably I would raise the white flag already. Based on what I’ve read in the internet and what was told to me by my doctors, once the cancer cells spread, especially with the type of cancer that I have now, my cancer would be much harder to cure. And if ever I decide to still fight it, the drugs that will be used on me would be more aggressive, which would then affect my whole body and my mental state badly.
And if I were to die with this sickness, I don’t seriously want to die in pain. I don’t want to allow my body to suffer more from chemotherapy. Chemotherapy is hard, just so you know. I just want to try to make the most of my time with my family and friends. So yeah, that’s pretty much what I want. But I’m sure that my parents wouldn’t agree. But anyway, I’m just hoping for the best now.
July 17, 2009
One of the things in life that we can’t preclude aside from death and change is the truth. Some of us, if not all, may have had our fair share of experiences wherein we tried to conceal the truth from others. We may have our own different intentions for doing such secrecy, but regardless of our intentions’ nature, we all have failed. And to those who up to now are successful in fooling others, soon enough everything will be out in the open. It may take weeks, months, even years, for the truth to be hidden, but no matter how hard we try to keep the secret veiled, the truth shall find its own way to be discovered.
So one piece of advice, as soon as possible, unconver the facts to those concerned. Many might get hurt, but that should be expected. It is really hard to accept the truth, most especially when it has to with a lot of people close to you. But people are forgiving. Just remember that. It’s part of our human nature. Some may take a while to forgive, but indubitably, in time, all will be well. Explain everything lucidly and just wait for their acceptance and forgiveness. Who knows, the people around you may have thought about it being existent beforehand and have somehow accepted the possibility for it to be true. Wouldn’t that be easier for everyone?
Although speaking about the truth would really require someone to have a vast amount of courage. We won’t be hiding it in the first place if we know that there’s a possibility for us to be worse off, right? So think about it. And I mean it. Don’t ponder about it once or twice, but as many time as possible because when the truth reveals itself, surely, you’ll be in trouble. Just remember: truth hurts, but not knowing will always and forever be harder.
June 10, 2009
As of today, June 10, 2009, the Department of Health (DOH) has declared 77 confirmed cases of A(H1N1) Influenza Virus in the Philippines, 15 of which are students from my school, De La Salle University – Manila. Many are wondering whether or not school would resume on June 15, but as of the moment, the university has not announced anything regarding such matter.
June 8, 2009
Every now and then, whenever I get bored, I take quizzes that people in Facebook want me to take. And surprisingly, I took a quiz here and the results really amazed me. It is so because it showed MOSTLY everything about me. Here are the results:
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They’ll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
MY COMMENT: I only hide my true self to people I don’t genuinely know yet. I have trust issues, which could explain my behavior. But I’m pretty sure that I have already showed my true identity to my friends.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don’t judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren’t necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people’s eyes.
MY COMMENT: Well, before I was definitely the most superficial person in our group. But as days pass, I have learned how to appreciate the concept of simplicity. And this can be proven by the people I have liked lately. LOL.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
MY COMMENT: I couldn’t agree more!!!
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren’t interested in wasting time with people you don’t really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
MY COMMENT: The first statement is 100% true. However, I have a problem with the next one. Apparently, my bestfriend told me that I easily fall in love, whether or not the person I’m in love with is the right one. Anyway, I personally think that there’s no way for any of us to determine the rightness of the person we love, right?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
MY COMMENT: Need I say more? I really got depressed when I left school, so I guess that would already prove how much I value education.
The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.
MY COMMENT: This is actually true. I really, really want a job which I really, really like. Really. Haha. But honestly, as long as I find the right job for me, I would definitely settle with it.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
MY COMMENT: I firmly believe that success will come to those who try HARD. So, I’m glad to get this result because I’m the type who would not stop until I get what I want.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don’t ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
MY COMMENT: Whenever I feel like I’m in trouble, or is just about to get into trouble, I make it a point to talk to some of my closest friends. And it’s funny to see this result because this is so true.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
MY COMMENT: I have to agree with the second statement. I really have bad mood swings. But I think my mood swings have gone better ever since I entered college. However, I still think that I’m moody. And for the last statement, well…it’s true again because I’m almost always paranoid and awkward. My calmness and stillness are always asymptotic to level zero.
Although to some of you, these tests appear to be spurious, I think you’ll be surprised by what they might actually tell you. It won’t hurt you anyway if you’ll try, right? Like in my case, I happen to be amazed by what the results have shown me. So why not go give it a shot! You, too, might be surprised by your own results.
June 5, 2009
A new A(H1N1) Influenza virus case has been confirmed by the DOH at the De La Salle University. I heard that the DOH contacted all the students that may have had a close encounter with the first two victims. The new carrier of the said virus is a 17-year old male, who happened to be clueless as to whether or not he had close contact with the Japanese students. To be quite honest, many students are now paranoid because the number of DLSU A(H1N1) cases is slowly growing in number. All students are now advised to quarantine themselves so as not to unconsciously spread the virus.
Total number of DLSU A(H1N1) cases is now 4. A friend has confirmed this to me, but I still need to find sources that will support this claim. The reliable source said that the new victim is now at the Makati Medical Center. Let’s pray for that person’s quick recovery. I shall blog again later for more details.
June 4, 2009
I have been in a roller coaster ride lately. And I feel like I would pass out any minute now. But thanks to an old blog entry, I have gained back my composure and my sanity. So yeah, I just want to share one of the entries that I have made last December which could really summarize my predicament these past few weeks.
Guys, forget about swine flu! Topman and Topshop are on sale! This is it! But I’m more excited for the Mid-year private sale! I can’t wait for my invitation. Anyway, go to their nearest shop now and buy!
Just a cigarette gone. No you couldn’t be that far. I’m driving in my car where I hope you are. Maybe I can talk you down. Maybe I can talk you down.
Oh, we’re standing on a tiny ledge. Before this goes over the edge. Gonna use my heart and not my head. And try to open up your eyes. This is relationship suicide.
‘Cause if you go, I go. ‘Cause if you go, I go. ‘Cause if you go, I go. ‘Cause if you go, I go.
-Talk You Down, The Script
I think this song speaks for itself already. Oh, I just love songs with great melodies and awesome lyrics.
Youtube link: Click here.