tales of a sober lad

December 19, 2008

emotional glitches

Filed under: Random — Tags: , , , — crossedfingers @ 7:27 am

depression

Just a random thought:

Those people who are angry at each other about silly things are usually the ones who care about each other the most.

When you start to feel something special for someone, it’s as if a new person is born. Your mood will be better, your attitude would be improved and your outlook towards life would be reformed. It’s as if everything seems great that all you could wish for is to be with the person you like and just wish for the time to stop so you could savour every moment you have with that person.

However, what if it’s the other way around? Instead of becoming better, you start to become cynical. All you do is doubt whether or not that person would ever truly like you back and just hate yourself for admiring that person too much that you tend to forget that there are still other people who could make you happy.

Now what if this is the case? Would you still continue on with your feelings? Or would you just hold your breath for a while, think of the situation carefully, sort things out and try to decide the best move that could take you to normalcy again?

Which one would you prefer?

As for me, the former would be the easier option. However, a lot of complications go with it. It is so because if you continue to like a person who is not clear with his/her feelings with you, then chances are that person may not feel the same way as you do. And in effect, you would just be hurt enormously just like randomly getting hit on the head by a falling rock which came from nowhere. But if you’re lucky enough, and you found out that the person you like has romantic feelings for you as well, then you just made the right move. You’ll probably end up happy and you guys would probably be together.

As for the latter option, a lot of time is needed in order to do this. Not only that, determination and guts are also highly essential. It is so because when a person would want to move on from an unrequited love, or from a wrong relationship, a lot of guts and focus are needed. Inevitably, it’s hard to say goodbye to a person that has been a part of our life. That is why when you want to move on; you have to prepare yourself for a rocky adventure.

Moving on is not easy. I bet many would agree. It takes a lot of thinking, focus and determination. For some, they try to move on by focusing on other things, trying to distract themselves from the root cause of their sadness. They would engage themselves in activities that could temporarily extinguish their sadness, though in reality, it’s just a way for them to cloud their true feelings. But for me, I guess it’s all a matter of being with my closest friends and enjoying their company so as to forget the feeling of loneliness and depression that might have been bugging me.

So you see, it’s not easy to be in love. It’s even more complicated than being single at all. But come to think of it, why are there still a million, even a billion of billion of people, who are courageously trying to be in love when in the end, when their relationship fails, all they do is cry, that they just tend to isolate themselves from other people and just contain their unwanted feelings? Well, I guess it’s more about experiencing a love that is greater than ordinary love. But again, what makes the two different when in both ways, you will still be loved?

Anyway, I think I’ll just pretend to be asleep now because my body is definitely killing me. Or maybe I’ll just bum around here and probably feed myself with some good food.

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December 13, 2008

lose control

Filed under: Rants — Tags: , , , — crossedfingers @ 10:49 am

Today is officially a bad day for me. For one, I was not able to go to school because my alarm failed to wake me up, yet again. I was supposed to give the umbrella back to Nikole because he left it yesterday. However, since I woke up so freaking late, I think I will only be able to return it back to him when we meet again, which is probably next year because he will be off to China with some of my blockmates on the 17th.

Anyway, since school has already been crossed out in my to-do list, I just instead went to the salon to have my stylist cut my 3-month old, long, bulky and irritating hair. Upon arriving, my stylist asked me about what I want to do with my hair. I clearly told him that I want it to be short, but not too short. Then he just smiled and started cutting. And after some 25 magical minutes of styling and cutting, my hair is finally short. The bad part though is the fact that my stylist cut it too short. Like really, really short! And I hate it. I was like panicking after seeing the result. But there’s nothing I can do about it, so I just immediately left the salon after paying for my haircut.  (Ok now I’m regretting the fact that I still gave him a tip even if he was too deaf and stupid to comprehend what I ordered him to do with my hair. Ugh.) Anyway, after leaving the salon, I hurriedly went to the restroom to fix my hair on my own. But unfortunately, it’s too short that I can’t even style it.

Dammit! I’m really just so irritated with how things went out today. Honestly, I just want to scream right now so as to release the negative energies flowing inside my body. I seriously cannot imagine things to get a lot worse anymore. I badly need to sidetrack my attention on something else in order to feel better. I guess I’ll just resort to eating and sleeping. A bum’s life is, without a doubt, always a good cure anyway.

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