tales of a sober lad

December 26, 2008

letter from a broken lad

Filed under: Random — Tags: , , — crossedfingers @ 4:04 pm

geer_letter_650Before, you said that we’re good. And I just remained quiet. No questions asked. No further arguments. You just said that we’re already good. But what the hell does that mean? Be more specific. Be clearer. Say what you really mean. Just please don’t beat around the bush. You know I would understand. There is a lot of time in this world, but some things are not just meant to take THAT long. So please, I’m begging. Be more direct. Say what you feel and I would, with no any hard feeling, accept whatever it is that you would want to say. I just want things to be more cleared up. I don’t want to play games with you anymore. I’m tired, just so you know. I don’t want to spend my night thinking about our should haves, could haves, and might haves. I want everything to be laid flat and transparent so that there would be no need to assume, to expect, and to get hurt.

And now, it’s different. I’m not sure if it was me who has changed or it is you who did. But either way, I don’t like this change. Things aren’t the same anymore. And I know you know it. But as to whether you like this change or not is still a big mystery to me, so please speak up. Or at least make me feel your side.

And why the sudden change? That’s all I want to know. Speak to me even for a bit. I just want to know. Am I asking for too much? Is IT too much? Please. Answer me. I just need you to enlighten me, to clear my mind, and to allow me to digest every single bit of this situation.

But I guess this is going nowhere. It seems that you have already made up your mind. So I guess that’s basically it. No more phone calls and no more small talks. Just plainly no communication at all.

I’m not sure if our paths would ever cross again. But hey, I would still look forward to seeing you in the future. And maybe, by then, things would be better. But again, I don’t want to keep my hopes high because it would only make me more prone to more failed expectations. And I can’t take any more pain. I believe I have endured enough. Taking in more of such would probably be my instant ticket to the crazy world that people like you have founded. So again, I’m asking you wholeheartedly to make things easier for me. Just be forward. That’s all I’m asking. Nothing more, nothing less. And let’s just see where it would take us.

December 10, 2008

just a state of mind

Filed under: Random — Tags: , , , — crossedfingers @ 7:37 am

Being happy, as most people would say, is a state of mind. This means that our happiness merely depends on how we look at life or how we view the way things are presented to us. It’s like if life offers you a basket full of happy things, then treat every single piece of that basket as a gift because everything could really make a complete 180 in a matter of seconds. It could be that one day you could just be spending the best day of your life in an isolated, fully developed island with lots of gorgeous people surrounding you, and then the next day, you could be crying your eyes out alone in your room for ruining your own life by chiefly committing stupid, extraneous mistakes.

Sadness, on the other hand, is also a state of mind. This goes for depression, anxiety, and paranoia as well. It is so because when life begins to complicate things already, which then causes you to go insane 24/7, coping with life’s changes seems to be a very hard task to do. In most cases, it takes time for a person to adjust. And in some cases, some people are just left trapped in their complicated world due to their inability to adjust to life’s modifications. It is consequently just necessary for a person to have the guts to offset life’s impediments through positivity because when a person looks at things, may they be good or bad, in a positive way, coping would not be that very hard to do. Life would become and feel easier and lighter when we are happy. It’s as if you are effortlessly lifting a 40lb dumbbell with your pinkie finger.

So when life provides you a basket full of things to be happy and sad about, I would suggest that you just ignore the bad ones and concentrate on the better ones in order to have a better life and a better mind. Though it takes a lot of courage to not mind the unwanted things, just the act of trying could make a huge difference. Also, it is therefore just important to make the most out of what you have right now and feel glad for every little blessing that you have been given because when life starts to be a bitch, you could only wish for things to return to the way they were.

So there, I guess I just have to keep these things in mind because seriously, I have been so paranoid and sad in the last 48 hours.

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